My wife and I have never left our kids with a babysitter. When marriage experts said, “You should get a babysitter,” we asked each other “Why should we leave our kids with a babysitter?”
We disagree with the modern trend of leaving the kids behind because (1) God called us to raise our own children, and (2) kids are safer and more stable with their parents. We have never gone on vacation without the kiddos. We have never celebrated our anniversary without them. If we go out to eat, we take the kids.
Dump the kids, get on with life?
Some moms and dads drop their kids off at the sitters on a weekly basis. Perhaps they are unaware of their calling to parenthood and just see the kids as a nuisance. Too often, we can see children just as something to put up with until they leave home.
I cannot get on with life unless I include my children in it. If God did not want me to invest my time, energy, and weekends into these youngsters, He would have given them to someone else.
I cannot count the times I have talked with parents who went on vacation or out to eat without their brood and lamented later, “I wish the kids could have been there to see this,” or “I spent so much time worrying about how they were doing I did not have a good time.”
Enjoy family involvement
My wife and I are with our children more than most people. We homeschool them and homestead with them. This means we spend the day together studying, working, eating, playing, and talking. No, I do not see what the marriage experts are talking about when they say my wife and I need time alone. Why should we leave our kids with a babysitter? I enjoy their company!
People who think involved parents have no time for each other must lack imagination and creativity. Hello! Kids have to sleep a lot more than adults do. My wife and I have meaningful discussions everyday. Our children are learning to respect our conversations and when they see us talking, they know not to butt in.
In my opinion, happy marriages are not built over candlelight dinners that steal time, money, and attention away from the children. Our marriage thrives on our common purpose and goal to raise G0d-honoring children.
Preserve safety in the home
Babysitters are unsafe. You do not know that person. I do not care if it is a relative. Aside from health and safety from bodily harm, is that paid caretaker morally safe. You cannot tell just by looking anymore or even checking references. In our world’s tangled web of pornography, I would not trust anyone with my children.
Aside from those extremes, your kids learn subtle sins too easily. Sitters will let your kids get away with things you fiercely oppose. The babysitter may fall for a line or jump to a conclusion, making your kids distrust adults or learn how to manipulate. Even grandparents frequently fail in this area and indulge a child’s weaknesses instead of build his strengths. As the going joke: spoil them and send them home for mom and dad to straighten out.
Do right by all parties involved
Why should the child suffer with some dame who cannot make anything but eggs with runny whites just because you need time alone? Why should I leave my kids with a babysitter who makes oatmeal they can eat through a straw? Why should they sit at home looking at “the same old same old” while mom and dad see the sights and enjoy new sounds?
God did not create marriage for entertainment. I believe the best way to build a strong marriage is to build a strong family, since that is why He created the man-woman commitment. Give your kids the best while you have them. Soon enough, you will have your spouse all to yourself and long for the days when you could hold your kids and enjoy them.